Tag Archives: weird

Baldfaced Bob

I haven’t shaved at all, I mean not even maintenance work, etc, since Nov. 1st.  While I don’t mind it on a daily basis, it’s been playing on my psyche, I think.  On 2 occasions, I’ve had dreams that suddenly I’ve been clean shaven, and it scares me.  It takes me a bit to realize it’s a dream and that I still have my beard.  Last night’s dream left me with just a mustache (I like to spell it moustache, for some reason – I think that should be the official spelling).  I have no idea why I’m having these dreams and the whole situation seems pretty weird to me.

Other than that, I’ve got another week before I bottle my beer.  I want to get a swamp heater/chiller going so I can better control the temperature of my bottles and my fermenters.  I think that would help more with quality control purposes.

I got a new cap, a black New Era Montreal Expos hat, it looks like this:
Since they don’t make a black Detroit Tigers hat with a white D (or at least not one I can find easily), I decided to go with a defunct franchise (the Expos eventually migrated to Washington DC where they’re known as the Nationals, FYI).  The only problem is, I paid quite a bit of cash for this hat, and it has a glaring imperfection.  The MLB logo on the back of the hat is crooked, not parallel to the bottom of the hat, and it’s off center.  It’s not terribly noticeable, but like I said, I paid a decent amount of money for the hat and I want it to be as advertised, not some crooked shit.  New Era’s support says they’ll get back to you in 24 hours but it’s been 5 days and I haven’t heard shit about it.  And I ordered it directly from them, not from some fly by night two-bit operation – unless New Era is actually a fly by night two-bit operation, of course.

Step into the light, until we meet again.

It’s been a busy week.  I’ve been pretty busy most of the day each day.  I haven’t gotten much of a chance to do much besides work of some sort, but Sunday I was able to see the Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! Awesome tour 2009.  I had never been to the Royal Oak Music Theater, and it was a pretty good show.  They came out and did skits, and showed clips of the new season that starts on February 8th or 9th.  In between skits and clips, James Quall, David Liebe Hart and Jason (Salame!) performed.  It was a pretty good show, and a fun night out.

Monday through today has been work.  I’m looking forward to the weekend, and I’m taking Monday off as a mental health day.  Plus I think I’m going to use the Super Bowl as an excuse to get totally wasted and make an ass of myself playing rockband.

I want to find a car charger that I can hook up to a microUSB port that I can connect my Blackberry to that will also output the audio.  I don’t think I’m going to find that.

I have enjoyed one thing this week, and that’s Lost.  So far I think this season has been great, and even if they aren’t answering a lot of questions, I feel like I’m finding out more.  It’s a weird feeling to follow a show for 4 seasons and not really know what the hell is going on, and then finally getting some answers in the 5th season – or at least seeing how the pieces of the puzzle are starting to fall into place.

I just want to ride my bike like one of those guys in the video.

I lived for another week.  I’m currently procrastinating something I need to do at work so this will be my outlet.

Saturday I saw babies, and went to Birch Run to look at getting some deals on some clothes because I need new ones.  It was a wash.  The weirdest clientele and place i went was Pepperidge Farms.  Everyone in that store was just weird.  They were old and broken down each with a large bag of goldfish crackers and day old bread.  There was a man-mountain cutting a deep ridge through the floor like a glacier carving it’s place through the earth whilst looking for godiva chocolates and old sickly women coughing their cancers all over the place.  Yah.

Sunday, I was bored so I went to the gymnasium to work out.  When I got home, I had to get ready to go meet my parents and my sister at fishbones for my dad’s birthday dinner thing.  His birthday was actually Friday, but Sunday worked out best for us all to get together.  I had sushi, it was ok.  Afterwards we went and picked up cake from the astoria pastry people and went back to my parents house to chill out for a while.

Today I went out to lunch with my boss to Jimmy Johns and while we were about to walk in, this old lady was holding her keys out and she said “I can’t remember where I parked”.  This should have been the queue for us to hurriedly walk into JJ’s, but we decided to help her find her car.  The parking lot is only one single side of parking, so if you forgot where you parked, you’re probably not doing so hot in the brains department.  She said she was driving a black Audi, but she didn’t know where her car was, so I walked to one side of the little strip mall and my boss walked to the other.  I saw a silver Audi, but she insisted that wasn’t her car.  She said she had an appointment, and we asked her when it was.  “10 o’clock”… it was 1pm, soo… she was probably going to be late, unless she meant 10pm and she wanted to be early.  When we asked if she could call anyone to help her, she said “I could, but they wouldn’t know my name”.  We began to wonder if she knew her own name.  We walked around the building and didn’t see her car, and when we came to the front, she was wandering away.  We decided to follow her to help her out and then she just disappeared.  When we caught up to her, she was driving out and waved to us in her GREY NISSAN.  Did I mention it was about 35 degrees FAHRENHEIT outside?  Needless to say when she drove by she flipped us the bird… no, not really, but that would have been fitting.  At one point she said “I knew I was old, but I didn’t think I was that old…” I wouldn’t be surprised if we heard that an old woman drove through the front of a 7-11 or something.

reverse goatse

We went to costco today to get a few things, vitamins, water, etc (because of the pending apocalypse, of course) and right when you walk in, they have a wall of display tv’s.

I was surprised to see Vizio using a reverse goatse image on their boxes…

Well, hello there!
Well, hello there!

frankly, I have to say I was amused, but a little disturbed at the same time…

How was my first bowl?

Yeah, so last Thursday, Katie and I went out to the newish Mongolian BBQ near our house, and I got a “MONGO” Blue Moon, and Katie got a water.  We went and got our salads, and afterwards went up to get our pile of meat.

While up at the pile of meat counter, one of the employee guys was changing out some of the stations with new materials and the way this one is set up. all of the meat and materials are look like they’re on little roll carts.  When you can grab your shit on either side, but when you get right up to it, your face is probably only about 2 feet from the person across from you.

The guy changing the materials said “HI, HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY?” and I said, “Fine thanks” and the first guy leaves and another guy comes up and he’s fiddling around with something and he’s right up in my face on the other side and he says “HOW WAS YOUR FIRST BOWL!? :D” and I look at him, quiziccally, and I say “What?”  He then repeats “HOW WAS YOUR FIRST BOWL!? :D” and I’m thinking to myself, what the shit is this guy talking about?

I look at him even more puzzled with this WTF look on my face and I say “This is my first bowl”.  His face kind of drops for a second and now he has a puzzled but still way too happy look on his face and says “OH, I MUST BE SEEING DOUBLE! {:D” and I say back to him “Yeah… me too…”

What a weird fucker.

The bottomless bucket is a portal to the vast sea

God, this weather is some bullshit. It’s going to get to 90 degrees today and I’m sure it’s going to be 100% humidity, my favorite! Days like today you can see where your body has cut a path through the air.

I had a dream last night that I was feeding fish to a seal. It was a white seal, about the size of a large cat, and I had to grab these slimy chilled fish out of a bucket, and after a while the seal really didn’t care much about the fish. The seal walked away and I kept trying to grab this one particular fish that kept slipping out of my grasp and falling back in the bucket. The ice in the bucket started melting and the fish started thawing out. I was looking into the bucket and as the fish started to reanimate, the bucket was bottomless and all types of fish were swimming around, from the kinds that were being fed to the seal, to black fish with giant flowing fins. One of the fish floated to the top like it was gasping it’s dying breath and as it rose the surface it got bigger and bigger and bigger until all I could see was it’s giant eye engulfing me, and then I woke up. I had to pee.

Anyhow, besides that, yesterday I went to the doctor’s office for a routine checkup, and they drew blood. I hate getting blood drawn, it always makes me feel sick. I’ve only had it done about 4 times in my life, and 3 of the times have been with this doctor. Last time I had blood drawn I started getting clammy and broke out in a cold sweat before they actually put the needle in. Yesterday, I was ok, I didn’t look at the needle, I didn’t look at the blood… I was ok until about 3 seconds after the needle got put in and I started feeling light headed. They had to call all these people in to help me lie down so I didn’t fall off of the table, and to say I felt shitty would be an understatement. I was as white as a sheet, and the only way I can describe the way I felt would be to say, it was as if I hadn’t drank water for a week and I was tasked with physically exerting myself. I felt exhausted, and it was horrible. After I got a drink of some OJ though, I was back to reality within seconds.

After work I had an eye appointment and got fitted with some daily use contacts. I wore them out of the office and around for a few hours to get used to them. It’s weird looking at myself without glasses, since I wear them everyday, and I’ve worn them consistantly since my last pair of contacts which was over 10 years ago. My vision is bad enough that I can’t see myself in the mirror unless I get super close, so being able to see myself without glasses on from far away was odd. Glasses are kind of my trademark at this point. I figure I’ll only wear them on days that I know I want to wear sunglasses or something. If I were to get 30 sets of daily wear contacts it would probably easily last me 6 months, if not a year. I thought it was weird that I got the same perscription contacts for both eyes, because in the past I’ve worn different perscriptions on each eye. Now I can’t mix them up.

It seems like this week has gone by pretty quick, especially considering I’ve been busy at work and all. Of course Friday is going to drag because I’m looking forward to the days off, but isn’t that how it always goes?

Don’t eat nuts at Montel Williams’ house

Ok, so this is a dream

it happened a few nights ago so I have to try to remember as much as I can about it.

I flew out on a plane to Las Vegas by myself to be part of a reality show hosted by Montel Williams.  There were about 6 or 7 other people and we were supposed to live in a house together and do challenges and the normal reality show bullshit.  Our first assignment when we got there was to each watch a movie and then talk about it the next day.  We sat around and chatted a bit, and everyone went to their own rooms or whatnot to get started on their movie and going to bed.  I wasn’t tired, so I decided to stay up out in the common room and decompress for a little bit.

While I was relaxing out on a couch, there was a knock on the door, so I went up to see who it was.  There was this black guy waiting out on the porch, so I opened the door and stepped outside.  He had been driving a taxi cab and told me he had a delivery.  I signed for the delivery and opened up the package and there were a bunch of nuts inside.  The guy seemed pretty interesting, so I asked him a few questions about himself, and we started talking about astral projection, the stars, the universe and other topics of conversation.  I started to dig into these nuts and eat quite a few of them.

The odd thing about the night was that it was snowing.  It was just coming down and the guy mentioned to me how weird it was that it was snowing, because they’re in the middle of the desert and it never snows out there.  It wasn’t too terribly cold, but this guy was all bundled up in scarves and shit and he had these big aviator sunglasses on.  After I ate some of the nuts, he started moving really weird and broke out into some crazy pop-lock routine and eventually we said our goodbye’s and he was off in the cab out into the darkness.

When I went back into the house, I had some more of these nuts and decided to lay down on the couch and watch my movie.  Suddenly, everything went red, and these flashes of violence came into my vision, people being beaten, mainly.  Freezeframes of baseball bats hitting people, groups of people inflicting violence upon others, and other visions.  They were like polaroids dropping down onto a pool of blood – one after another after another piling up.  I was sitting there when the others in the house came out of their rooms in the morning and they all came up to me to ask what had happened.  When I looked around the main area and the kitchen, the whole place was totally trashed.  There were dishes smashed all over the place, things torn off of the walls, papers everywhere.  I had no idea what happened, and I wasn’t entirely sure if someone else had come in and done everything or if it had been me.

That’s when I woke up.