Tag Archives: rant

Tweet this you twat.

So, I’ve had a twitter account for a while.  I use it to “promote” my website and advertise new posts and stuff after reading all these articles on how you can utilize twitter to reach a broader audience.  Unfortunately, I think that’s a big pile of bullshit.  I do get a few hits whenever I post a new review, but other than that, I don’t see much return from it.  I also don’t use it enough for more people to follow me.  I’m not the type of person to update what I had for lunch or what I saw, because frankly, it’s not that interesting and I’m not that interesting.  I’m almost 32 years old and I realize I’m never going to be an internet star (not that I’d want that anyhow).

I’ve been following people but at first I was following people because they followed me first.   Now I realize that’s really not what you should do, since you get to read a lot of stuff that you probably don’t care about.  I don’t see how someone could follow more than about 30 people.  I check twitter about 4 or 5 times a day and if I have more people to read than that they get lost in the shuffle.  I actually removed someone a couple weeks ago and they asked me why I stopped following them.  BECAUSE I’M SICK OF HEARING HOW AWESOME YOU ARE, that’s why.

Maybe I’m an old douche, but I really don’t see the point of it.  I’ve been on the fence for a while on if I just want to stop checking or posting all together.  At least with my little gig here I know only 10 people read it and this is for me, I’m not obsessing over how cool I am and how I love lobster claws attached to people’s testicles or that I saw Kevin Costner riding a dolphin at Sea World or whatever fucking bullshit people write about.

If I checked it 50x a day I might find it more useful, or if I knew how the fuck to find people who talk about shit I’m interested in or whatever, but for now it seems like it’s just an exercise in narcissism.

what’s happening.

someone got added to my shitlist today

first off, they came up to my desk and got right up in my personal fucking space. I don’t know why they didn’t just stick their tongue in my ear when they were talking to me. Then they asked the ubiquitous “Are you busy”, I playfully answered “Always” and they said totally straightfaced “No you’re not.”

Sorry, you don’t even know me. You don’t know who I am, you don’t know what I do, and you’ve never talked to me. Just because you’re some lifelong prole at this company and you hate your job, don’t come over to me and tell me you know what I’m doing, regardless if I’m joking or not. Maybe if they would have at least had said it differently it might not have set something off in my head, but when you say shit and you’re not joking, you can eat some shit.

Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, I’ve been missing. I got sick last week and I missed some days from work and I’m leaving Thursday again for the weekend.

This past weekend, I saw Watchmen on Friday, which I thought was absolutely awesome. I enjoyed it a lot more than “The Dark Knight” – mostly because TDK was 2 1/2 hours long and it just felt like it kept dragging on and on. Watchmen was actually longer, but because I knew the source material, I could roughly gauge where it was in the film, but I wasn’t bored at all. I also saw Slumdog Millionaire on Sunday, and that was also excellent. It wasn’t what I was expecting but I really enjoyed the way the story was told. Danny Boyle continues to do awesome work and he totally deserved his accolades.

I wish I had more original thought to share but I’m lost.

Maybe I’ll just lay here and sleep for a bit.

So, I was watching the Today show this morning when I was getting ready for work.  I usually listen to the radio or engrave images of spirits on rare parchments before work, but today I happened to be watching Today.

They had a this story about “the sleep diet” which I was very intrigued about since if I could lose weight by sleeping, I’m wasting my time getting up early.  Anyhow, some place did some study where they took a group of about 10 women and had them get at least 7.5 hours of sleep so they could see if it had some effect on weight.  They told these women not to change their eating habits or their activity levels so they could see if sleep was the sole reason behind this change.  So, on the show they had someone official that held the study, 3 women from the study, and DR. NANCY SNEIDERMAN M.D.  talking about this study.

They first talked to a woman who lost 15 pounds during this study by only  sleeping at least 7.5 hours a night.  Oh, and she also changed  her eating habits and started working out more.  Ok… if you recall, they weren’t supposed to change eating habits or activity, but this lady did.  “I felt more refreshed and I felt the need to do more excersize!”  Then DR. NANCY SNEIDERMAN M.D. came on and talked about how yeah, when you get more sleep, you feel more refreshed and you have more energy to do stuff.  Then the talked to these other women who had more energy and weren’t eating all the junk they had been eating before hand.  DR. NANCY SNEIDERMAN M.D. came on and said “Yeah well when you’re tired and stressed out, your body craves more carbs”.

Well fucking duh.  So it sounds like DR. NANCY SNEIDERMAN has all the answers… why did they even do the study?  They could have just asked DR. NANCY SNEIDERMAN all about it!  She’s either obviously a sleep expert, or someone there to provide soundbytes about how great “the sleep diet” is.  Science be damned, just do exactly the opposite of what we tell you to do and when you lose more weight than we thought you would, we’ll credit a fake diet!  I’m getting way to fired up about this for no reason, but that’s just fucking stupid, sorry.  I could see if you got more sleep and you had more energy and you wanted to lift a house off of it’s foundation with your own two hands, but this study was explained that it was bassed on whether or not you’d lose weight if you got more sleep, not if it would make you change your other habits.  That part is common sense, really.

In other news, they changed the timing of the traffic lights on the way to work, and this bothers me.  I had it all timed perfectly so that I would only get stopped by one red light, maaaaaybe two.  Now I get stopped by every single friggin light.

Also, my coworker is trying to convince me that someone is trying to clone the Neaderthal man, and how cruel that is, and what a poor guy that neaderthal man is.  All I could do is smile, laugh nervously and think “please leave me alone, I just want to work.  Don’t kill me, I want to live!”

crazies.

I’m just one person, so this really won’t make a shit of difference

Alright everyone, ok… Calm down, folks.  It’s happened, the day is here, I’m just as happy as everyone else.  Ok, well can we just get back to normal now, and move on?  What?  Really?  Well I didn’t say that.  No.  What? Wait, what?  No!  No, I didn’t say that.  Well if you’d let me talk…

All I’m trying to say is why do we have to beat everything into dust?  I know… Yes.  Yeah, I thought it was pretty cool too, I was excited, but what I’m getting at is can we talk about something else now?  Every channel is talking about this, I can’t even see sports highlights on ESPN without being reminded of it.  I mean jeez, you’d think Anna Nicole Smith, or John Travolta’s kid just died.  I guess if I had to hear about that for a month or two, I’m just going to have to put up with this too, right?  I mean at least this is something that I care about, and might actually effect the world in either a positive or negative way, rather than being something that the flapping meat on TV talks about incessantly for no reason at all other than to worship celebrity.

slacking the night away

So. I’ve been rather neglectful to my writing as of recent days. Proof being that I haven’t posted anything since the 9th of December and it is currently the 23rd. Nothing terribly exciting has been going on, mostly the humdrum of everyday life and such.

I got most of my holiday shopping out of the way, I still have to buy some stocking stuff for Katie, but other than that, she’s done with. That’s really all I buy for, she handles all of my family and what not.  I got my dad a couple lights for his bike, so he doesn’t get hit by errant cars at night.  He told us he’d be interested in something like that at Thanksgiving, and he came over a few weeks ago and said “You don’t have to get me that light”… Guess what dude, you didn’t give me any other ideas so you’re getting your goddamned light and you’ll like it.  We considered getting James a cosby sweater that he’d hate, just out of spite for the hassle he gave us last year.  My mom and sister got gift cards because they can’t tell us what they want.

Internalbleeding.net is getting a lot of hits this month, probably thanks to our reviews of Silent Night, Deadly Night parts 1 and 2, and the Hulk Hogan masterpiece “Santa with Muscles” which is rated at #49 on IMDB’s bottom 100.  I don’t think it deserves to be ranked that low, because I’ve easily seen 100 worse movies in my lifetime.  Citizen Kane it is not, but it’s definitely no Ziesters (aka Fat Guy goes Nutzoid), that’s for damned sure.

I had my own website stalker, an actor from a movie I reviewed who kept coming to the site and left about 3 comments about the movie.  I won’t mention the movie or the actor because that will draw him towards this fortress of solitude I call my personal blog.  I’m pretty convinced that he searches for mentions of his movie every few days, which I’d probably do too if I was in a movie, but he leaves comments commending his own performance, and poses as if he’s someone else.  Weird.

I have about 6 1/2 hours until an 11 day vacation.  It can’t come soon enough and I have one task to do before the end of the day.  It’ll take me about 1/2 an hour and the rest of the day will be me sitting here staring blankly at the screen, while scrunching my face and rubbing my forehead in a stressful manner to appear as if I am very busy and cannot be bothered.  This is my strategy.

Jason and I are exchanging munny ornaments.  I have quite a few ideas, but I’m having problems with the implementation.  I think I’ve finally decided on a single idea, and I just have to make a visit to the craft store to get all of my supplies.  I think at this point I’m going to wait until after the holiday because it’s too hard to get around right now, especially with Ikea, Lowes, JC Penny, Target, Meijer, Burger King, Taco Bell, Potbelly Sandwiches, Buy Buy Baby, Jimmy Johns, Subway, Macdonalds, Little Ceasars, Homegoods, Outback Steakhouse, Guitar Center, Wal-Mart, Sam’s Club, Gardner White, Bed Bath and Beyond, Dunhams, Marshalls, assorted movie theaters, OTHER MADNESS AND ETC! being right down the street.

Ok, now I’ve lost my train of what little thought I had going through this post, so it’s come to an end.  If I don’t post again before the big day, happy holidays to you and yours, whoever yours may be.

Take the Nestea Plunge!

I like Iced Tea.  I like when I go to a restaurant and I can order Iced Tea, because I don’t like to drink pop, soda, the like.  I do not, however, like Nestea.  Nestea is not Iced Tea.  Nestea is a poor imitation.  Unlike Iced Tea, which at best is freshly brewed through a series of magical ingredients, amongst which I assume to be tea leaves and ice.

Nestea, on the other hand, has the flavor of dirty, soiled toilet water filtered through a series of dirty diapers and filthy sweat socks.

While I usually steer clear of Nestea, today at lunch it was unavoidable, as the eating establishment that I was visiting didn’t have a “water” spout on their lineup of fountain drinks.  Now I sit here agonizing with this horrific tea flavored drink, aka Nestea.  Yuk.

Thanks for opportunity at an interview!

So, I have to know something. Has it become popular to say “Oh, I haven’t seen *insert popular movie here*”? Especially when the movie has been hammered into popular culture and has had 2 sequels.

A guy at work must be here for an interview and he was sitting across the wall wearing his slacks, dress shirt and a black tie with green numbers, letters and symbols that appear to be dripping down his tie. A Matrix tie… Someone asked him “Is that a Matrix tie?”. He responds with “Oh, is it? I haven’t seen that movie, I just saw the tie and put it on. I hate wearing ties.”

Maybe you haven’t seen the movie, that’s possible. I’m sure that out of the 6 billion people on this planet, there are a few that haven’t seen The Matrix. Add the difficulty factor of being in your mid to late 20’s and being male. Most males in that age range have the proclivity of watching action films, so I find it hard to believe that this guy hadn’t seen The Matrix.

Let’s suspend belief for a moment and say this guy hasn’t seen the movie. This brings me to my second question… Why would you wear a themed tie to an interview? Do you rummage through your trailer before going to your interview and find a theme tie sitting under a pile of garbage and decide to put that on? Would you wear a looney tunes tie to an interview? I wouldn’t, no one would take me seriously. I would probably be literally laughed out of an interview. I think it would be a better idea to wrap a black garbage bag around your neck than to wear something like that to an interview. Go tear some of the copper wire and tubing out of your trailer and trade it in for a few buck so you can go to Dollar General and buy a semi-respectable tie. FUCK.

I’ve decided that for my next interview, I’m going to wear a Dragon Ball Z button up shirt with Goku transforming into “Super Saiyan” mode, paired with an American Flag tie, held all together with some Cincinnati Bengals Zubaz brand Zubaz pants and Pink Crocs.

Hey, I want to look my best on my interview.

Why not?
Why not?

Weekend Update – Illinois Edition

I went out to IL this weekend, and left somewhat early Friday morning so I could get out there and be able to hang out. I went out to visit Jermie and go and see the Tigers play the White Sox at U.S. Cellular field in south Chicago on Saturday.

Driving there wasn’t too bad. He lives about an hour and a half south of Chicago, so once I got to Chicago, I still had quite a ways to go before I’d get to his house. He lives in Bloomington, IL – which I find to be a pretty interesting place. You drive down I-55 and it’s just farm land and on both sides of the expressway dotted with truck stops and fast food restaurants at each exit. That all changes when you get to Bloomington. The exit I got off of is pretty nondescript, but you go down veteran’s highway for about a mile and a half and it’s like an oasis in the desert. The main street is 6 lanes in the middle of nowhere and there’s a billion little businesses all over the place. It’s pretty crazy.

When I got to Jermie’s house he hadn’t got there yet from work, so I sat out in front of his house for about 15 minutes or so waiting for him to get there. While I was sitting out there, his neighbors were passing, and some old lady came out and disappeared after giving me some weird look. All I could imagine were the cops pulling up next to my car asking me what I was doing, thinking I was casing the neighborhood. Me, sitting there with my crazy beard, just waiting outside someones house… That’s not suspicious looking at all.

When he got home, we went out and got some lunch and drank a few beers. After that, we went back to his house and Julie was home with Liam, so we hung out at his house for a while, and Julie went out so we watched Liam till she got back. We ended up going to BW3’s and watching baseball and drinking some more. There was some loud obnoxious chick that sat next to me at the bar, that screamed in my ear my entire time we sat there. We got home, and I was exhausted so I went to bed. I didn’t end up sleeping very well and woke up pretty early on Saturday so that we could go to the game.

We drove out to the game and the weather was shit. It was 39 degrees and rainy as hell. I knew it would be cold, but I didn’t think it would be that cold. The game was fucking horrible. The Sox pitched a no hitter for 7 1/3 innings and the Tigers ended up getting shut out. A nice “De-troit Sucks” chant started up and it was pretty miserable so we ended up leaving to take shelter in the car and hopefully warm up. I fell asleep on the ride back and was starving. When we got back, we ordered a pizza and played rockband till pretty late, drinking beers and Seagram’s. I’m getting my confidence back on drums and finished my first song on Hard that night.

Sunday, I had to psyche myself up to drive the 5-6 hours back home. I left at about noon and made pretty good time at about 5 hours and 20 minutes. It was pretty uneventful, and it seemed to go by pretty quick, especially considering it was such a long drive.

I really dislike driving back into metro Detroit. The entire drive through Illinois, Indiana and most of Michigan you’re driving down 2 lane highway. Almost everyone recognizes that you use the left lane to pass, and you get into the right lane when you’re not passing. The closer you get to Detroit, (noticeably right near Ann Arbor) the more that whole fucking concept breaks down. You eventually get to the point where nobody fucking knows how to drive, society degrades completely and everyone drops 1/2 a chromosome. I shouldn’t have to pass on the right. If you’re not going as fast as the person behind you and there’s no one in the right lane, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY. On the flip, if you see someone coming up the left lane coming up upon you at a rapid pace, and you’re in the right lane, don’t just pull into the left lane at your same rate of speed if you’re going to pass someone. Either slow down for a second and let them pass, or speed up and so that they aren’t swallowing their teeth because they had to slam on the brakes.

Stupid conversations overheard

I went to lunch yesterday at this place called Genghis Khan. It’s kind of like mongolian BBQ, but with less choice and not as chic. Anyhow, while enjoying my curried food, we were haplessly seated by this group of guys who looked like they were in their mid to late 20’s who didn’t smell very good and looked like they had never been laid. They were those kind of guys that have conversations really loudly, thinking that everyone around them wants to be a part of their witty banter. Unfortunately, they were both unfunny and really, really dumb. Some of the gems I was enlightened with during my lunch were as follows.

On Canada: “Canada is just a really big Michigan. It’s full of old run down buildings” then in the next breath he said “I’ve only been to Canada once, to go eat.” – Wow, way to generalize a whole 1/3 of a continent on your many travels to the country.

On Old Buildings: “I try not go to into old buildings. You never know when they’re going to fall on you. Back then they weren’t build to last” – Yeah. Europe’s architecture must be falling apart at the seams. I always hear about how Spain is having problems with those “old buildings” falling down over there.

On Bank Robbery in Texas: “When someone robs a bank in Texas, they close down the border. No one gets in, nobody gets out!”

Anyone that’s known me for an extended amount of time knows that I am pretty anal retentive about correcting blatantly incorrect statements, so I was having a hard time not saying anything. Especially since they were sitting right behind me blathering.

Katie’s been working crazy long hours because of tax season. Monday she worked from 9am to 10pm, Tuesday she worked 9am – 11pm and last night it was 9am – 12am. She got home and put a hot pocket in the microwave and must have set it for 12 minutes instead of 2, and there was a thick hot pocket smoke haze throughout the house. I think any clothes that were on the middle level of my house pretty much stink like smoke. I felt bad though that she burned her hot pocket.

dicks

Man, people can be dicks. I just read an article in Engadget from a few days ago where some funny hilarious super cool guys went on a support forum for Epileptics and embedded flashing animations in their forums just to fuck with people.

Shit like that makes me wonder what’s wrong with people, and is there really anything that’s off limits? Why don’t we just fucking kick walkers out from under old people? HAHAH!

Easter Weekend Review

Ahh, another weekend gone by, more planned activities canceled by laziness and procrastination. We’ll start our tale of sloth with Friday.

Friday, I left work early because my boss was out, and I didn’t really have much motivation to stay. I took off about 2:30 and went home and got prepared to go over Raz’s house. Ultimately that was not to be, because while I had my blinds closed looking at movies to review, it was snowing outside. When I did look out the window around 5:30pm, it was already an inch or two deep. I read that it would snow all night, and I didn’t want to get stuck at Raz’s house, or get stuck in my driveway when I eventually did get home, so I stayed home. We still wanted to get our movie watching in, so I tried to stream him a movie over VLC. That didn’t work out to well, so now I’m trying to figure out how to set it up in the future.

I’m thinking of using my slingbox, because that is decent quality and really reliable. The only problem is the slingbox doesn’t have a passthrough, so I’d have to split my input signal (computer, xbmc, etc) to my TV and the slingbox so I could watch what’s broadcast. Component splitters are pretty expensive too… so I’m going to try faking my computer into thinking a stream is a webcam, and using yahoo messenger or skype to see if that works.

Anyhow we did end up watching a movie called Endgame, which has some elements of Running Man, but overall was pretty worthless. Our review is up, and we’re also set up for our time lapsed reviews for the week.

Saturday, I watched Deathstalker II, and sat around most of the day while Katie was at work. I also decided not to use my super bad ass snowblower/thrower, and just decided to shovel because most of the snow had melted, and I needed the exercise. Someone was nice enough to clear my sidewalk on both sides of my house, and I only broke my back on the driveway. When Katie got home, we went to buy cat food, and tried a Chinese restaurant that was down the road from our house that we hadn’t tried before. I thought it was pretty decent… Then afterwards, I appeased my wife by watching 27 Dresses, ugh.

Sunday was Easter, and again, I appeased my wife by going to church with her family. We ate brunch over there, and everyone fell asleep except my mother in law, my nephew and myself. That was pretty boring. After that, we went home, got some stuff together, and headed over my parent’s house for dinner.

While we were there, my dad asked me if the sunglasses he bought were women’s sunglasses. I wish I could take a picture of them, but I wanted to do it covert, and didn’t get the chance. They were brown wrap around sunglasses, with HUGE STARS on each side where the arm connects to the frame. I couldn’t help but laugh as he showed me the glasses. How could he not know they were women’s glasses? Whatever, they were hilarious.

After dinner my sister let me drive her Prius, which was cool. Shortly thereafter, we left, came home and basically went to bed.

The end.

One week till opening day!

Oh, and I got a Joe Ledbetter Dunny on Thursday!