Well hello there, my diminutive bird friend.

Dear diary,

I’m really getting sick of cleaning up birdshit from my desk at work.  Yeah, you read that right, there is birdshit on my desk… I work indoors, and there are those high, unfinished ceilings.  Birds get in here and they can’t figure out how to get out and since my desk is against a wall, they get all crazy and decide to expunge their bowels on my stuff.  Thankfully I haven’t had any on my keyboard, mouse, monitor or PC itself, but I have had a few splatters on my work phone.  I of course promptly scrape it off and eat it… ugh, that made me sick to my stomach to even joke about.  I have to disinfect my entire work space.  A few weeks ago I had something on my steno notepad, and I thought that someone got mustard or something on my book, but now I realize it was dried bird shit… fucking disgusting and utterly ridiculous at the same time.

I watched an awesome zombie tv show from the BBC called Dead Set last week.  It’s about a zombie outbreak that happens during a season of the Big Brother tv show in the UK, and the people inside have no idea it’s going on.  It’s 5 episodes long and it was awesome.  I really like the whole 10 episodes in a season and then it’s over attitude that the BBC takes with their shows.  There are a few shows that return for a couple seasons, but it’s a rarity that they have these shows like Cheers or something that go on for years that just meander around the whole point with filler.  I also watched Dead Snow this weekend which is the best Nazi zombie movie I’ve seen.  I was pretty impressed actually.  It’s a more ridiculous and over the top zombie movie (zombies are pretty over the top as it is, right?) that seems to borrow a lot from Evil Dead.

Everyone is out today going to some pep rally rah rah bullshit, so it’s pretty quiet here today, just the way I like it.

4 thoughts on “Well hello there, my diminutive bird friend.”

  1. i am cracking up. you should train the bird to fly down and sit on your shoulder. put some seeds out on your desk. go out birdman from alcatraz style.

    “…and her house was very small, with bird shit on the wall, when i came round to call, you didn’t notice me at all.”

  2. I could have sworn I already left this comment…

    I’m afraid that if I did that, my desk would just be covered in bird crap splatters. Maybe when I move desks eventually, I’ll leave a bowl of bird seed under the desk.

  3. you could put bird seed in various places on the desk of someone you don’t like. their keyboard would be a good location.

  4. LOL! that’s a great idea. I think I might do that. I haven’t seen the birds for a short time, so maybe they’re on vacation or something, but I’m gonna try that.

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